The upstart traitors of the so-called “Maritime Republic of Eastport” have once again challenged their Annapolis betters to another Slaughter Across the Water to begin this Saturday at about noonish. The brigands from Eastport were never very punctual so give them a few minutes to stop quaking in terror to mount their best effort to defeat Annapolis.
Each year for more than a decade Eastport residents once again get the idea into their heads that they can come down to our city dock and best us in a show of brute strength. They’ve lost before they’ll lose again but it seems they won’t ever stop trying.
Six tugs are planned so far with the Annapolis Police department, Navy, Downtown Barhoppers, Herdsman, BankAnnapolis, and Personal Trainers Looking for a Camp representing Annapolis. Respectively representing the MRE are the Annapolis Fire Department, Army, MRE 4th Street Bars, SPCA, BB&T and Annapolis Bootcamp.
A number of organizations, on both sides, will benefit from the annual mutiny. Each side is providing entertainment and throwing respective parties. More than 450 people are expected to show their loyalty to one side or another and take up arms in the form of one end of a 1,700-foot long rope when their disputes will be settled for at least one more year. More than 1,000 people are expected to show their support for either the Annapolis side or the eventual losers in the Maritime Republic of Eastport.
Although the futile tugging efforts of the Republic vs. the stalwart heroes of Annapolis will begin at the crack of noon, the gathering should start an hour or so before on both sides of the insurrection. Prospective tuggers need to show up a little earlier – say 10:30 a.m. and bring a signed waiver plus $20 in order to participate. Gloves and sturdy, well-soled shoes are also a good idea.
Annapolis won last year, but lost the year before. The MRE seems to have the hunger in their eyes but it’s really up to those who show up to defend Annapolis’ honor. The redeeming quality of the MRE is they are a registered no-profit that has raised more than $250,000 for other charitable organizations.
It’s important to remember that this is, of course, all in good fun and the only real winners are the organizations that benefit from the good-natured rivalry fostered for no good reason but for a laugh. It’s fun to win of course, but even more important is the fact that there are no losers.
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